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One of the biggest obstacles we encounter when we consider aiming for our goals is self sabotage, and one of the major ways in which it manifests itself is through the language we use every day to talk about certain things, especially our projects. This article teaches how to avoid self sabotage, correcting the language that impedes the achievement of our goals.
The type of language we use to express our idea of ourselves is crucial for the achievement of our goals, because as it is, so will the results. So it is very important to send the right message to our mind. We will see how we may have lost opportunities to succeed through an unproductive approach whih included the use of negative, ambiguous and inconsistent language. It is important to pay special attention to the language we use in preparing our plans. Er encourage you to observe the list of words below and identify how much you use any of them when you set your goals.
Expressions that encourage self sabotage
The use of “no”
The use of phrases accompanied by an initial “no” somehow have the opposite result to what we want, because the mind excludes the “no” and focuses on the rest of the sentence. For example: “I do not want to be fatter, “the mind somehow removes the” no “and the image” I want to be fatter “appears immediately in our mind, this is what strengthens, resulting in the opposite of what we claim to beginning. Best claims would be “I’m at my ideal weight,” “I lose weight x kg”, etc. A statement must be made as if the fact that we speak of was already happening or being carried out. This requirement is vital. The use of certain words may be difficult in the beginning but we quickly get used to them.
The use of “in the morning,” “one of these days” or “next week”
We live in an eternal present, but there are things you need to do “tomorrow”, “Tomorrow” will not be tomorrow, but “today” if you realize the “tomorrow” never comes, it is always “now”. “Tomorrow” is no date on the calendar and therefore confuses the mind. The same happens with phrases like “one of these days” or “next week” are phrases that are not defined in time, nor in the calendar. Such expressions are ambiguous for the mind, the correct thing to do would be to set a specific date, for example “on the 22nd” or “on July 22nd”.
Using “I must/ should/ have to”
The sentences beginning with “I must/ should/ have to” ar usually not related to pleasant things, say “I must go to the bank,” “I have to fix the house,” but almost never “I must go to the beach” or “I shoud go to the party” (unless you really do not want to go). “I must” implies a burden, a weight that stops us or delays us. For that matter , when setting of to achieve our goals these are best avoided at all cost.
The use of “Yes, but”
“Yes, but” certainly is a total doubt in front of the possibility of achieving a goal (in my pure and simple colloquial language). Any doubt or hesitation prevents us from achieving our objectives. Somehow the mind understands your little conviction and prefers to delay or stop the necessary steps to reach this milestone of which you are not convinced. “But” is a word that cancels the first part of the sentence, eg “I studied, but you never know with this teacher,” or “I want to go to the meeting, but the day is cloudy,” ” I will help you, but tomorrow. ” What do we say in these sentences? “I studied but I know it will go wrong for me,” “I want to go to the meeting but certainly I will not, because it will rain”, “I’ll help you in the morning, but hopefully tomorrow it is not convenient for you.” It is very clear that in self sabotage we use these phrases to talk about things we know we want/must do but at the same time indicating that we can not make them. It is very recommended to largely avoiding using “yes, but”.
Using “How week I feel,” “How boring”
When using these expressions, the body responds immediately. They are full-fledged commands and therefore the whole body relaxes, reduces the interest and loses energy. We have no tools to confront such attitude, the body just thinks about laziness, it looses focus and sight of its goal.
Usually these come accompanied by a “can not” or other words that denote disability or that something negative will happen if I do something; i.e.: “I can not be disciplined,” “I am unable to lose weight, my whole family is fat” or “I do not go out at night because it is dangerous.”
The basic rule when stating a goal is to do so in the present simple tense, positive and affirmative. When talking to ourselves about it, it is important to do it in present tense; the mind recognizes and interprets better this tense; we even have to be careful with the “I am going to…”, as it implies future.
Stating our goals positively increases the possibility of success; better to say”I’m at my ideal weight” than “I have to lose weight”- like an obligation. Speaking affirmatively prevents self sabotage “I do not want to get sick” sounds good, but I visualize myself sick; Best “I’m totally healthy” (I visualize myself healthy). Better remove the “no”.
Train your mind to stop using these expressions that only confuse and boycott your attempts to achieve a goal. Simply remember them and avoid them.
I hope you’ve found this article to help you eliminate self sabotage from your life helpful. If so, share to reach more people, thanks for reading. Remember that you can download our application Vivet Lite: positive affirmations, which can enhance your practical and simple statements. To download the application Vivet Lite- in Castillian- or read the article from the original link please click here.
By MA. DAVILA, published envivetapp.com July 21, 2016